I was always under the impression that being a parent meant you gave birth or raised a child. Having become an instant step-parent myself, I've learned a lot of things about parenting in the last year. The biggest lesson being that giving birth doesn't make you a parent and the term "raised" is VERY subjective.
Here are a few things I've learned so far:
- Giving gifts instead of boundaries, doesn't make you a good parent
- Parenting means being able and willing to be the good guy and the bad guy when necessary
- It's getting over your fear of cooking because making them breakfast makes you and them happy
- It's watching the same movie 100 times and enjoying it like it's the first because they do
- Don't make promises you can't keep because their disappointment is your heartbreak
- They already have friends, they need you as a parent
- It's putting the kids first no matter how tired, stressed or busy you are
- Realizing that they are going to become their own person no matter how much you don't approve.....then loving them regardless
- Knowing when you're hurting more than helping and taking a step back not because you want to, but because they need you to
The nuclear family has changed, significantly. Some people believe that only a household with a mother and father are healthy for children. A mom and dad, two moms, two dads, grandparents, step-parents, foster parents, adopted parents, aunts, uncles, single dads, single moms.....these are the households of today. Everyone has their own opinion on what makes for a good parent or a healthy household.
All I know is this.
I may not have given birth, but I've given everything else of myself that I can...willingly to my kids. They may not call me mom, but I know that I am no less a parent than if I had given birth to them. That being raised in a house with a mom and a dad is the least of it. Putting your kids first is what matters.